When fear of change locks you in a prison of your own making

They have found a rhythm, and change introduces unfamiliarity and fears they have no desire to face.

Even if a new direction is potentially a wise choice, an improvement to the life they have, they have no desire to move into change because of the uncertainty it brings. 

They would rather stay in a certain, known environment, even if it’s a difficult one, than move into uncertain, unknown territory. 

Why do we resist change so much? We like to know what to expect. We want to feel a certain amount of control in our lives, even if it’s a chaotic and unfulfilling life.

How can we approach change if we know change needs to happen? 

If you recognize this truth, you are already well on your way. Sometimes we have been on the same trajectory for so long that we don’t realize we’ve been headed for disaster. We can be too stuck in our rut to even see that we are stuck in a rut. 

Don’t isolate yourself 

Friends can see your trajectory better than you can yourself. Surround yourself with people with your best interest at heart, not only those who will tell you just what you want to hear. 

Seek good counsel 

Find people who can speak truth into your life. Ask people that you admire to mentor you and be honest about what they see. And sometimes, we need more than just friends, but professionals to help us untangle life’s knots. 

Check your mindset

  Dr. Carol Dweck, a Professor of Psychology, says we can have one of two basic mindsets: a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. A growth mindset seeks always to keep learning and moving forward, growing emotionally, spiritually and physically. It sees failure as a chance to learn and change, whereas those of a fixed mindset see failure as permanent. They would say, “It’s too hard, I’ve tried, I can’t, so why bother trying again.”

The Bible talks about mindsets too. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12‬:‭2‬a ‭NIV‬‬ (italics mine). Renewing is written as a present tense verb, showing continual action. Renewal is not a one-time exercise but a continuous decision. We are instructed to keep on renewing our minds.

Seek out God’s will

This can seem like a daunting process. How can we know God’s will? 

First, we need to check ourselves. Do we really desire God’s will, or are we asking God to bless “our will”?

If we genuinely desire to follow God’s plan for our lives, then change may be the inevitable outcome. We need continuous renewing and redirecting of our minds to the purposes of God, and with this close, personal relationship comes clarity of what He desires for us. As the end of Romans 12:2 says, “Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Just as we know the mind of a dear friend, we can also begin to know God’s heart as we spend more time with Him, allowing His Word to marinate in our minds.

Yes, change is hard, but without change, we become like a sitting body of water; stagnant, decaying and smelly. And who wants that to be the describing words of one’s life?

Fresh water is constantly moving and changing. Seasons never stay the same; we were not meant to stay in our present condition. We need the constant inflow of God’s truth into our minds so we can be a vibrant outflow into the lives of those around us. 

If you know you need a change, take the first step.