‘‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house.
Was the smell of floor polish and
Pluma mouuse.
The commen were set on the table with care
In hopes that Suuzya and Pieta would share.
The kids were all tucked snug in their beds,
While visions of oranges danced in their heads.
And maam in her kerchief and me and my zoat
Sat in our housecoats, baadis yaboat.
When out by the garage there came such a clatter
I jumped from the couch to see what’s the matter!
Out on the porch I ran in my zuuken
“Voat da huund! Dame voa ach fa cluupen!”
When what to my wondering eyes should I see
but ola Uncle Jonsen staring at me.
He had the old ladder stood up by the wall
And testing the rungs, afraid he would fall.
And over his vaanik he wore his wife dress
The good, red church one if I had to guess.
And down on the ground trampling the snow
Stood Jonsen’s eight goats, ready to go.
He whistled and shouted and called them by name
Froonz, Jaarijta, Yebaat and Fritz
Onna, en Eetja, Honsja and Schpitz!
The goats they just butted and left a big mess
And Jonsen climbed up my roof in that dress.
“Voat da huund!” I yelled up the house
Da kijinga dei schloopen! Voat es de loos?”
He spoke not a word but climbed straight back down
He straightened his dress and said with a frown.
“You didn’t see nothin, not the goats or the dress”
And he left me there standing
And I must confess
Me scratchin my head, wondering vout howd passiet
Was the komst barscht tuw zuuia?
Or da pluuma mouuse ya yiet?
Did I see what I saw or was I befuddled?
Coulda been too much peach schnapps had me all muddled.
But early next morning after Christmas Day church
I couldn’t find Jonsen so I went on a search.
He was out in the parking lot warming up his old truck
If I wanted some answers well I wasn’t in luck
He looked at me funny but not in the eye
He said I was crazy and that’s not a lie.
So to this day, is it true like I said?
Did I see what I saw or was it all in my head?
One thing I know I’ve seen Jonsens wife
Wear that red dress I swear on my life.
And now when the night before Christmas comes near
I go to bed early and plug up my ear.
If Jonsen is out there I don’t wanna know
I hope he has fun with his goats in the snow.
And one last word I’ll say if I might
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
