Are you on an emotional rollercoaster now that Suzie is off to college?
I can’t be the only one sitting here pulling on the reins of August, begging for the long summer evenings with its golden hour to stay a little longer! The crops are turning colour, the corn is tasseling, the beans need picking, and I know what that means; fall is coming.
Not only does fall represent a change in the weather, but for some of us, it represents a significant shift in our family structure as our young adults leave the nest for further education or new jobs. And I will be the first to admit that this is a hard thing for mamma birds!
Letting go of our children is a process that never finds an end.
It seems so long ago that we dropped off our oldest to begin her four years of nursing school, but I remember all the feels as if it were yesterday. I was the proud mamma, excited to see her go to an incredible school, yet I felt the deep rending of driving away, leaving her to navigate it on her own.
I know not all parents feel what I felt as my kids went off to university, but September became very difficult for me. As each of my children took their turn at university, it was the same emotional experience of letting go.
If I could share some advice on how to get through this, here are some things I would say:
???????? your brain wants you to think it’s the end of your parenting job. It’s not. They come back. And you’re still their mom, and they need you to be ok with them being gone. If they know mom is ok at home, it helps them be ok where they are.
???????? don’t just sit at home and mourn their absence. Sure, go ahead and cry, but then get up and go do stuff. See your friends, plan projects and keep busy.
???????? maybe it’s time to reinvent yourself? I decided one October that I needed to find a volunteer position at a local organization that we supported, and five years later, I’m still there. It has become a lifeline for me!
???????? the end of one season is the beginning of a new one. Trust God in the process and know He has good things in store for you and your adult children. Remember that He loves them more than your parent heart could.
And these are all the things I must keep telling myself even though my kids have completed their university days. Letting go of our children is a process that never finds an end. It began the day they came into this world and continues even as they find their way in life. Sometimes the best thing we can do for our children is to continue to pray for them and allow God to direct their next steps. His plans for them are bigger and better than we can manipulate.
Trust and let go – again and again.
I’m a couple years out from this stage as my oldest is in 10th grade. But I feel the bits of having to let go as they get older. Thank you for this encouragement!
This brought back all those “what am I going to do now” feelings when my girl left for college. It isn’t the end but a new beginning but how I needed grace to let go. Praying for you and your mama heart. Beautiful post. ❤️